After more consideration, I'm feeling good about our decision to move to Austin, Texas.
It's not definite move, as we still need to get out there and visit and what not, to make sure we like the area and vibe well in the city. But for some reason, it just seems like it's the right move.
Nick and I had a chance about a year ago, to move to Portland. We had the $$ and Nicks had just been laid off so, no jobs tying us down [my jobs are expendable imo] and we had the money to do so, but we didn't. I fucking HATE Minnesota and can't wait to get out of here, but..we decided to move. Nick said he didn't feel right about it and neither did I. Maybe this is why, maybe it's because I'm not supposed to be back in Portland. Maybe that's why Austin just popped into my head randomly when thinking of places to move to.
I'm not really one that believes in fate, but I do believe some things happen for a reason and everything seems to be adding up to moving to Austin over Portland. I have a feeling that if I forced the move to Portland, negative things would occur. I love Portland, but right now, in my life, I don't think it's where I'm supposed to be, I can't explain it, it's just how I feel. That's the main reason why Austin looks so appealing.
Anywho, some "drama" going on with my moms will. I'm trying to stay out of it. I really want nothing to do with it. I won't go into the details but my siblings and the executor of the will are butting heads? I guess that's the best way to put it. I don't know all the details so I'm not passing judgement either way, I just wish all of this could be done smoothly and just be over and done with.
Lets see, work is..work. My hours have been cut back down to 25-30 hours a week. I'm kinda on the fence as what to do. The greedy part of me wants to quit and find a higher paying job, most likely in a call-center, which...I would hate. I actually like my job and enjoy the people I work with, which is why I'm still there. I think I'll just stick it out at this job until we move, I mean, we can still pay our bills etc. we're not living paycheck to paycheck, and I enjoy my place of work, do I REALLY wanna up and quit and get a job I'll hate just for more money? Not really.
I'm hoping if I stick it out at this job, things will fall into place and I'll actually get where I want to be within the company, but we'll see. Due to unforseen circumstances and just bad luck, I've been screwed outta the position I was gunning for [manager] but whatever, shit happens and for now I'll just roll with the punches. Probably won't be moving for about a year [maybe a little less] which gives me ample time to move on up and if nothing else, it looks good on a resume to be with a company for a long period of time before quitting and what not, so, yeah....
The weather has FINALLY warmed up, I swear to god I didn't think the winter was going to fucking end, it was SNOWING in April, FUCKING SNOW, in April. That was just retarded. But...now it's warming up, it's 60 degrees out and I love it. I have been taking the dogs out for extended walks and we all seem to enjoy it. I *really* wish I could walk them together, but they insist on playing with each other when I take them both out and that just leads to a tangle of cords an annoyed/pissed off Travis, so, no more of that lol.
Anyways, I should go do a load of dishes. Shit and a load of laundry *sigh* I need to hire a maid, I'm too lazy for this shit. lol.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
DAMMIT!
It's been a REALLY long time since I've felt bored, but today, is one of those days.
I was kinda hoping it'd be really nice out, I would have pulled a chair out to the deck and just sat out in the sun and read a book, but no, it's overcast and kinda cold, which keeps me inside and makes me miss the pacific northwest at the sametime lol.
So I've been doing a lot of reading online, newsites, gossip sites, that kind of stuff. A lot of the news is based around the elections. I'm honestly, and surprisingly enough, not rooting for any one person inpaticular. I'm glad that McCain is the republican nominee, I would never vote for him, but out of all the republicans that were running, he is at least the most intelligent out of them.
As far as Clinton vs Obama goes, eh, I learn more toward Hillary, I don't see what people seein Obama. Hell with Clinton, you in a way, get 2 presidents for 1 and I though Bill did a pretty decent job while in office, so...yeah, I dunno. I think I'll be voting for Clinton, but I won't be upset if Obama wins [and I believe he will], I just think Clinton would actually get shit done, I think Obama will find he got himself in over his head and little will get done. That's my .02 on that whole situation.
No other news out there really worth commenting on, I could give a rats ass about Paris Hilton or anyone like that so, yeah, not worth my time even talking about that garbage lol.
So yeah, anywho, sounds like my pizza is done, time for my tubby ass to go eat!
I was kinda hoping it'd be really nice out, I would have pulled a chair out to the deck and just sat out in the sun and read a book, but no, it's overcast and kinda cold, which keeps me inside and makes me miss the pacific northwest at the sametime lol.
So I've been doing a lot of reading online, newsites, gossip sites, that kind of stuff. A lot of the news is based around the elections. I'm honestly, and surprisingly enough, not rooting for any one person inpaticular. I'm glad that McCain is the republican nominee, I would never vote for him, but out of all the republicans that were running, he is at least the most intelligent out of them.
As far as Clinton vs Obama goes, eh, I learn more toward Hillary, I don't see what people seein Obama. Hell with Clinton, you in a way, get 2 presidents for 1 and I though Bill did a pretty decent job while in office, so...yeah, I dunno. I think I'll be voting for Clinton, but I won't be upset if Obama wins [and I believe he will], I just think Clinton would actually get shit done, I think Obama will find he got himself in over his head and little will get done. That's my .02 on that whole situation.
No other news out there really worth commenting on, I could give a rats ass about Paris Hilton or anyone like that so, yeah, not worth my time even talking about that garbage lol.
So yeah, anywho, sounds like my pizza is done, time for my tubby ass to go eat!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Retail
I have a very love/hate relationship with Retail. I actually don't mind the environment of the workplace. Constantly around other people and I prefer dealing with customers face to face, retail is one of the few places left where you can do that.
That being said, I hate how retail stores are RAN. I hate being treated like a teenager sometimes.
For instance, today, we had a "store meeting", I was like "omg are you fucking serious?" my store manager [Mike] was like "yup". So after working from 6am to 2pm, I had to go back @ 7pm...for a store meeting. Of course the meeting covered stuff I already knew, because unlike 75% of the store, I'm not a moron. Anyways, I totally felt like I was a kid again during that meeting *eyeroll*.
It's times like this where I wish the management position situation worked out, then I wouldn't feel like such a loser working retail lol. Ah well, what can ya do.
On the brightside...Nick made a lemon cake with strawberry frosting and OMFG it's so good! I also bought some root beer @ the store today so I can make root beer floats tomorrow!
I have the next 2 days off and I'm DEFINITELY looking forward to it heh.
That being said, I hate how retail stores are RAN. I hate being treated like a teenager sometimes.
For instance, today, we had a "store meeting", I was like "omg are you fucking serious?" my store manager [Mike] was like "yup". So after working from 6am to 2pm, I had to go back @ 7pm...for a store meeting. Of course the meeting covered stuff I already knew, because unlike 75% of the store, I'm not a moron. Anyways, I totally felt like I was a kid again during that meeting *eyeroll*.
It's times like this where I wish the management position situation worked out, then I wouldn't feel like such a loser working retail lol. Ah well, what can ya do.
On the brightside...Nick made a lemon cake with strawberry frosting and OMFG it's so good! I also bought some root beer @ the store today so I can make root beer floats tomorrow!
I have the next 2 days off and I'm DEFINITELY looking forward to it heh.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Round #2
I decided to start blogging back on here, I know a good chunk of my family is on here, so maybe I'll make this my "family" oriented blog.
I'll do a "not so quick" recap of whats gone on and then continue from there at a later time as really, I should be asleep cuz I have work in the morning, but my mind is racing which prevents me from much needed rest.
Relationship: I've been with Nick for 5 1/2 years [yup, still gay mom.] and don't see that changing anytime in the near future. He's stuck with me through thick and thin and is able to put up with my insanity. It's amazing how much he can put up with me, I know I'm high maintenance and I told him once I felt our relationship was getting serious, how high maintenance I am, he was fine with it then and he's fine with it now, which leads me to believe, he'll be fine with it forever. Yay.
Work: Work is work, I work @ Petsmart as a stocker. I was originally gunning for the management job that was open at the time, long story short, I got screwed. It was more by circumstance than anything else. So I can't be too pissed, but it was a bit of a let down and currently I feel like I'm just wasting time there now. But it helps pay the bills and I actually enjoy my work so I'm sticking with it for now.
Location: Currently living in Minnesota. Fucking hate it. I can't stand the midwest and look forward to moving. Nick and I are looking to move to either Portland, Oregon or Austin, Texas. They both offer what we're looking for "busy cities, little to no snow, social life". Right now we're both leaning more towards Austin, as we think living there would be exciting, new, different, even if it's only for a couple years, the cost of living in Austin is so low that it wouldn't take very long to save back up and move again if that's what we decided to do.
Animals: 2 dogs, Kaiya 3 y/o Samoyed, Loki 1 1/2 year old Shiba Inu. Both have hilarious personalities but are VERY different from each other. Unfortunately the older one has started to become jealous as of recently, not sure wtf is up with her but she's being more of a bitch to Loki than usual, so, gotta figure out a solution to that problem!
Events: Lots of this, so, I'll just summarize some of them.
Not this past easter but the one before it, I got into a huge fight with Nicks family @ Easter Dinner. I made a sarcastic remark about not wanting to breed my dog with Nick's moms dog and that somehow [don't ask me how] turned into this HUGE fight, about how much of a piece of shit I am and how if Nick was smart he would have dumped my ass a long time of ago, blah blah blah, shit like that. This was all said by one of his Aunts and then backed up by one of his uncles. I was both pissed off and on the verge of tears, as I had no idea that's what that half of his family thought of me. Whatever, it doesn't bother me any now, especially coming from the source, I won't go there in a blog but..yeah, considering who that comment came from..I just brush it off, as I think they're 10x more of a failure than I would ever be lol.
A couple months later, Nick and I moved into a new apartment. Nick still had shit at his moms house so we went to go pick it up one day to find that his mom [in a fit] threw a bunch of his shit into the garbage, expensive computer shit. So he left her a note with all the items he had there that have gone missing or he wasn't able to find in the garbage and how much they cost. His mom freaked out and was saying how "we" only want to use her for her money, blah blah blah blah, never wanted to see us again, etc, etc. It's over and done with now, they made amends.
What blows about that whole situation is that I once considered me and Julie [Nicks mom] to have a close relationship. Though we get along again now, the relationship has been tarnished and I don't trust her all that much. She's shown herself to be very 2 faced. So anytime I'm around her, I put a smile on my face and pretend every thing's ok, but in reality, I'm sad that I lost someone I considered a mother figure.
Lets see, oh yeah, had to go to court for a "hit and run" charge. That was fun. The charge was dropped because..well..it wasn't a hit and run, but that entire process sucked. I won't waste time going into the details as it's not all that interesting. The lady hit me, we *both* agreed it wasn't a big enough deal to exchange info etc. Until we both drove away in opposite directions and noticed the damage done to both of our vehicles. She called the cops, said it was a hit and run, I had to go to court, charges were dropped, was a total waste of time and was entirely too stressful for something so stupid lol.
A few weeks later, I get a letter in the mail from a law office, I'm thinking "oh great, chick is suing me now!" I wish, that would have been cheaper to deal with. I found out that a credit card that I had from like 7 years ago, had gone to a collection agency and that collection agency was taking me to court and suing me for 6,000 dollars. What pissed me off about this is that I paid off ALL of my debts before I moved out to MN 5+ years ago. THIS card was NOT on any of the credit reports etc. So I had no idea this card still existed. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do but suck it up. So I'm currently paying that off and then I have 1 other card I need to pay off and then I should be debt free.
On 2/20/2008 my mom passed away. I can't say I'm all that upset. I mean, when I found out she was dying, I cried. I don't know if I cried because she was dying or if it was because it was just 1 more thing on my plate at the time, going to court, getting sued and then finding out mom was sick, all happened within a month or two of each other, it was a lot to handle and I think I finally broke down under all the pressure.
I found out she died via an e-mail, 2 days after the fact. I can't say I was too happy about finding out that way, especially knowing that at least 2 people had my phone #. I still ended up getting an e-mail. I feel like Carrie in Sex and the City when Burger broke up with her using a post-it note. I was just like "Really? I'm finding this out by e-mail....really?" I was pissed off but, what can ya do.
I'm still battling with how I feel about my mom passing away. Part of me is convinced I should be really upset, but I'm just not. I mean...my mom...was a bitch. She had her moments when I got along real well with her, but 99% of the time we butt heads. We both had completely different beliefs and viewed things a lot differently.
As time went on, I just grew further apart from her. The realization started setting in about how much she manipulated me as a child, I grew to be very bitter towards her. Especially when I realized how much she went out of her way to corrupt the relationship with my dad. I had a great relationship with my dad as a kid, but when they got divorced that changed pretty rapidly. Now, I feel like I've been robbed out of YEARS I could have spent with my father, but instead, I avoided him like the plague because I thought it was the right thing to do *eyeroll*. I realized a few others things as well and all of them just added up to me REALLY disliking my mom.
When I got the will, it just reinforced my feelings, or lack thereof for my mom. When I saw that she left $1 each to my other 2 "sisters", I was just like "wow, even in death you're a fucking bitch" like...that's just low. I'm sure there was SOME reasoning behind it, maybe some legal thing..but I mean..really? $1? really? *shakes head* I couldn't help but laugh, I mean..I shouldn't have been surprised.
So yeah, that's where I'm at today, hopefully I'll stay on top of this blog a bit more, as to keep others who don't' have access to one of my other blogs informed as to wtf is going on in my life.
I'll do a "not so quick" recap of whats gone on and then continue from there at a later time as really, I should be asleep cuz I have work in the morning, but my mind is racing which prevents me from much needed rest.
Relationship: I've been with Nick for 5 1/2 years [yup, still gay mom.] and don't see that changing anytime in the near future. He's stuck with me through thick and thin and is able to put up with my insanity. It's amazing how much he can put up with me, I know I'm high maintenance and I told him once I felt our relationship was getting serious, how high maintenance I am, he was fine with it then and he's fine with it now, which leads me to believe, he'll be fine with it forever. Yay.
Work: Work is work, I work @ Petsmart as a stocker. I was originally gunning for the management job that was open at the time, long story short, I got screwed. It was more by circumstance than anything else. So I can't be too pissed, but it was a bit of a let down and currently I feel like I'm just wasting time there now. But it helps pay the bills and I actually enjoy my work so I'm sticking with it for now.
Location: Currently living in Minnesota. Fucking hate it. I can't stand the midwest and look forward to moving. Nick and I are looking to move to either Portland, Oregon or Austin, Texas. They both offer what we're looking for "busy cities, little to no snow, social life". Right now we're both leaning more towards Austin, as we think living there would be exciting, new, different, even if it's only for a couple years, the cost of living in Austin is so low that it wouldn't take very long to save back up and move again if that's what we decided to do.
Animals: 2 dogs, Kaiya 3 y/o Samoyed, Loki 1 1/2 year old Shiba Inu. Both have hilarious personalities but are VERY different from each other. Unfortunately the older one has started to become jealous as of recently, not sure wtf is up with her but she's being more of a bitch to Loki than usual, so, gotta figure out a solution to that problem!
Events: Lots of this, so, I'll just summarize some of them.
Not this past easter but the one before it, I got into a huge fight with Nicks family @ Easter Dinner. I made a sarcastic remark about not wanting to breed my dog with Nick's moms dog and that somehow [don't ask me how] turned into this HUGE fight, about how much of a piece of shit I am and how if Nick was smart he would have dumped my ass a long time of ago, blah blah blah, shit like that. This was all said by one of his Aunts and then backed up by one of his uncles. I was both pissed off and on the verge of tears, as I had no idea that's what that half of his family thought of me. Whatever, it doesn't bother me any now, especially coming from the source, I won't go there in a blog but..yeah, considering who that comment came from..I just brush it off, as I think they're 10x more of a failure than I would ever be lol.
A couple months later, Nick and I moved into a new apartment. Nick still had shit at his moms house so we went to go pick it up one day to find that his mom [in a fit] threw a bunch of his shit into the garbage, expensive computer shit. So he left her a note with all the items he had there that have gone missing or he wasn't able to find in the garbage and how much they cost. His mom freaked out and was saying how "we" only want to use her for her money, blah blah blah blah, never wanted to see us again, etc, etc. It's over and done with now, they made amends.
What blows about that whole situation is that I once considered me and Julie [Nicks mom] to have a close relationship. Though we get along again now, the relationship has been tarnished and I don't trust her all that much. She's shown herself to be very 2 faced. So anytime I'm around her, I put a smile on my face and pretend every thing's ok, but in reality, I'm sad that I lost someone I considered a mother figure.
Lets see, oh yeah, had to go to court for a "hit and run" charge. That was fun. The charge was dropped because..well..it wasn't a hit and run, but that entire process sucked. I won't waste time going into the details as it's not all that interesting. The lady hit me, we *both* agreed it wasn't a big enough deal to exchange info etc. Until we both drove away in opposite directions and noticed the damage done to both of our vehicles. She called the cops, said it was a hit and run, I had to go to court, charges were dropped, was a total waste of time and was entirely too stressful for something so stupid lol.
A few weeks later, I get a letter in the mail from a law office, I'm thinking "oh great, chick is suing me now!" I wish, that would have been cheaper to deal with. I found out that a credit card that I had from like 7 years ago, had gone to a collection agency and that collection agency was taking me to court and suing me for 6,000 dollars. What pissed me off about this is that I paid off ALL of my debts before I moved out to MN 5+ years ago. THIS card was NOT on any of the credit reports etc. So I had no idea this card still existed. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do but suck it up. So I'm currently paying that off and then I have 1 other card I need to pay off and then I should be debt free.
On 2/20/2008 my mom passed away. I can't say I'm all that upset. I mean, when I found out she was dying, I cried. I don't know if I cried because she was dying or if it was because it was just 1 more thing on my plate at the time, going to court, getting sued and then finding out mom was sick, all happened within a month or two of each other, it was a lot to handle and I think I finally broke down under all the pressure.
I found out she died via an e-mail, 2 days after the fact. I can't say I was too happy about finding out that way, especially knowing that at least 2 people had my phone #. I still ended up getting an e-mail. I feel like Carrie in Sex and the City when Burger broke up with her using a post-it note. I was just like "Really? I'm finding this out by e-mail....really?" I was pissed off but, what can ya do.
I'm still battling with how I feel about my mom passing away. Part of me is convinced I should be really upset, but I'm just not. I mean...my mom...was a bitch. She had her moments when I got along real well with her, but 99% of the time we butt heads. We both had completely different beliefs and viewed things a lot differently.
As time went on, I just grew further apart from her. The realization started setting in about how much she manipulated me as a child, I grew to be very bitter towards her. Especially when I realized how much she went out of her way to corrupt the relationship with my dad. I had a great relationship with my dad as a kid, but when they got divorced that changed pretty rapidly. Now, I feel like I've been robbed out of YEARS I could have spent with my father, but instead, I avoided him like the plague because I thought it was the right thing to do *eyeroll*. I realized a few others things as well and all of them just added up to me REALLY disliking my mom.
When I got the will, it just reinforced my feelings, or lack thereof for my mom. When I saw that she left $1 each to my other 2 "sisters", I was just like "wow, even in death you're a fucking bitch" like...that's just low. I'm sure there was SOME reasoning behind it, maybe some legal thing..but I mean..really? $1? really? *shakes head* I couldn't help but laugh, I mean..I shouldn't have been surprised.
So yeah, that's where I'm at today, hopefully I'll stay on top of this blog a bit more, as to keep others who don't' have access to one of my other blogs informed as to wtf is going on in my life.
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